“Yes, I did fall for my boss and I did nothing wrong”, said the manager who was being fired for getting winded up in an office crush/romance saga with her boss. This is how usually office romances end when thrown into the public spotlight.
This is how usually office romances end when thrown into the public spotlight. Although there is nothing wrong in you dating anyone, but workplace romance can be a disaster especially in situations when your company policy prohibits such behavior. (Most of the companies do)
But pushing aside the negatives, having an office crush is on a lot of employees check-list. There is always that one Mr/Ms Right, standing so perfectly in the break-room, sipping on their coffee the way you always hope they would. Office crushes are something everyone is excited about and to top it off, it’s your daily motivational reminder to go to work.Depending on how serious this crush is, you need to remind yourself that although it is okay to let your inner Shakespeare write numerous love poems about your office crush, it is not okay for him to take over and have you lose control. If you find yourself getting a little ahead of yourself and contemplating a workplace romance that you are not sure you want to pursue, then these are the few things you should keep in mind:
Depending on how serious this crush is, you need to remind yourself that although it is okay to let your inner Shakespeare write numerous love poems about your office crush, it is not okay for him to take over and have you lose control. If you find yourself getting a little ahead of yourself and contemplating a workplace romance that you are not sure you want to pursue, then these are the few things you should keep in mind:
1. The Fine Line Between Feeling And Acting On Your Office Crush
Human Beings were built to like and be attracted to the opposite gender, sometimes even the same and we have no control as to when a crush might arise, but it doesn’t mean it’s okay to always act on those feelings, especially if you are in a workplace. It’s alright to enjoy a crush or enjoy looking at someone, but know when you should act on it.
Use your sense of judgment and voice out to yourself about how your actions will have consequences, because say if your crush doesn’t respond to your feelings than leave alone the tiny heartbreak, the awkwardness between the both of you is going to become unbearable and everyone in your office is bound to find out.
2. You Hold The Key To Your Emotions
In the true word of every love song ever written, “The heart wants what it wants”, but you are a working professional and your feelings can’t control you. You need to control your emotions. Take charge of your emotions and let them know who’s the boss. (With no pun intended :P)
Emotions do seem to build itself up and it’s best to let them out in PRIVATE. Screaming into a pillow, thwacking a pillow with a knotted-up towel, dancing, working out, writing, or singing loudly while vocalizing your feelings out loud. The more physical, the better.
3. Guilt Trip Much?
How many times has this thought occurred to you?
“I like my co-worker—but I shouldn’t!” or “He’s my boss… I don’t know what to do”
Guilt is a very unexpected visitor of grief that often comes knocking around when we don’t want it to. It is an unhealthy emotion that makes you do inappropriate things when you really shouldn’t. Guilt distorts our ability to think clearly, leading to unhealthy and toxic thoughts like:
“Well I can’t help but fall in love with my married boss, so I might as well pursue this.”
But again, remember: You are in charge. Not your thoughts. Not your feelings.
4. You Are Allowed To Enjoy the Excitement
Having a workplace crush isn’t always a bad thing. It can be fun, exciting and even improve how productive you can be. If controlled properly, you will find yourself dressing better, speaking up in meetings and being more confident as a speaker. You will find yourself contributing to more projects and even doing better at your work (all in the hope of just getting noticed). Once you clear yourself of feeling guilty, you can indulge in the thrills and sparks of making yourself more productive and effective to the firm.
Hey and if all works out you can shift into a positive frame of mind with ‘the one’, but calmly consider the pros and cons of starting a relationship with your co-worker.
But do remember, that you might be putting your job in jeopardy due to the company laws and policies. Make sure to go through them before you act on anything.
Moreover, remember that every romance has a honeymoon phase and the true nature of the relationship is only visible after that phase. What if, you feel like ending your office romance in a few weeks or months? Will you guys be able to work together? Will it be awkward? Becuase, if it will be awkward, then you should never go for it in the first place. If you are not able to keep your professional and personal relationships aside, doom is what it will be called.